Guntoting Glenannes
by SherriandJasmin
Summary: Fiona's sister Claire who has been dead for a long time shows up in miami needing help, but before she reveals herself to the team she causes them a little pain. Would you expect any less from Fee's little sis. Michael/Fee ofcourse! Sam/Claire. ENJOY!


There are certain advantages to having a small team. On one hand you can trust every person you work with and it's not that hard to keep track of them. On the other hand when something big happens unless the general public has caught whiff of it you're flying blind.

"What's this about Sam?"

"Nothing Mikey I just asked you to have a beer with me maybe a mohito if you're feeling a little fancy. You know have a gold old chat because god knows we haven't had a chance to do that lately." Said Sam leaning back in his chair taking a sip of his beer.

"what between all the gun toting mercenaries and your fantastic luck." Said fee with her using charming smile. The smile on Sam's face depleted and he leaned across the table towards Michael purposely blocking out Fee.

"Michael when I invite you to a guy's night out the general rule is to not bring your girlfriend."

Michael began to answer but Fee cut him off,

"fine if you don't want my company I'll leave, Good luck getting free drinks. Your waitress is a lesbian."

Fee got up from her chair rather noisily and stalked off with a large gym bag over shoulder. No secret why fee needed a bag that big.

"What's wrong with fee?" asked Jesse. As usual he had come into the conversation a second too late and missed all the theatrics. Not that it bothered him.

"Lets just say Sam suggested her presence wasn't wanted." Replied an exasperated Michael.

"Oh, I thought it was something big," shrugged Jesse. Michael just stared at Jesse in a way that let know him know he was now in the bad books.

"Come on man it's called a guys night out for a reason. I love fee but she doesn't meet the obvious criteria for a night like this."

"And if she did I'd be worried about you and her Mikey" chirped up Sam.

"Well while were discussing Fee's," continued Michael.

"Genitalia" added Sam. Michael shot Sam a look that could only be interpreted as 'really?'

"Isn't there something more important we could be talking about?" said Michael in his usual monotone.

"What like a case, come on man you know as well as I do Miami's been quiet for the past few weeks." Jesse kept drinking his beer and checked out a waitress across the room.

"As far as crime in Miami goes its still running there just aren't any innocent victims that need saving. Why not live it up while you can?"

"Because Sam I'm going out of my mind, I'm not the kind of man who can sit around for weeks on end drinking beer."

"your loss man, I'm enjoying going to the beach everyday, and partying it up at night." Replied Jesse chuffed because the waitress gave him a flirtatious smile. Sam got up from his chair and addressed the group "I'm going to a strip club anyone up for it."

"Yeah might as well" said Jesse finishing his beer, "Michael"

"You guys go ahead I have some things I'm going to check up on."

Sam got the bill from the waitress Jesse had been checking out. She slipped Sam her number and clearly left Jesse hanging. Sam chuckled and under his breath said "some lesbian."

As the boys walked out the bar door Jesse playfully slapped Sam in the chest

"Come on man what was that."

"Slow down jess you'll get your chance. In about ten years." Sam started walking backward so he could face Jesse. "It's a known fact that all girls in Miami have daddy issues." Meanwhile back at Michael's Fee was having a little trouble of her own.

"Damn lighter" No matter how much fee shook the two inch slab of plastic filled with gasoline it didn't want to work.

"Oh this is just great how the hell am I supposed to light these godforsaken candles, I traded a .38 smith and Wesson for these things."

Fee went into the fridge to grab a beer. The solution was simple, get another lighter but a beer couldn't hurt. As Fee peered into the fridge she murmured "maybe I should screw the candles and cover myself in youghurt, he'd like that wouldn't he"

"you could always get fully naked and arrange the yoghurt as makeshift lingerie?" Fee turned around gun cocked and loaded but the person behind her knew that trick too and already had hers out.

Fiona looked sideways and blinked a few times "Claire?"

"Whats up big sis, you look good. Michael treating you well?

_Claire_

_Fiona's Little Sister_

"How are you, this is, what the hell are you.?"

"That's no way to treat you favourite little sister is it?" The girl in front of fee was undoubtedly her sister. They had the same eyes and hair the bone structure was the same except the girl sported larger breasts and looked just that little bit younger.  
>"Have you had a boob job?"<p>

"See that's more like it"

Michael stepped through the door and acted immediately to the scene before him.

"Drop it Weston this is a family affair." Said Claire before Michael even had a chance to cock his gun and before he knew it there was a gun pointing at his head.

Michael's hands immediately rose in surrender, "Whoa guys come on, lets think about this."

"We have that's why we brought guns, fee loves guns, don't you big sis"

"Big sis?" repeated Michael clearly confused, "wait I thought your sister was killed by the English?"

"She was," said fee.

"Then what am I chopped lettuce" replied the girl her tone riddled with defense.

Michael pulled his smart ass demeanor, "I think you'll realize the phrase is chopped liver."

"Yeah well I'm a vegetarian, moron." Said Claire turning to face Michael. Fiona reacted like lightning and struck Claire in the back before seizing the gun and bringing her hands behind her back. Fee then pushed her against the counter. Michael reacted with equal reflexes and took out the boy behind him. Michael stepped away from the boy and towards Fee.

The door opened and in strutted Sam and Jesse slightly flushed. Jesse's face went from hazy to pissed off in about ten seconds.

"YOU! What the hell are you doing here? You leave all of my stuff outside, half of it got taken and then you blow up my house. You are my worst freaking nightmare, you crazy bitch."

_Claire_

_Jesse's worst nightmare_

Jesse advanced on Claire with spectacular fashion. His eyes were almost homicidal. Fee wasn't sure if she was proud of her sister or angry at her sister. So she didn't stop Jesse from attempting to lay into Claire. It's what came next that could throw off even the most well adjusted agent. "Jesse you sonofabitch, Get off My girlfriend." Shouted Sam

_Claire_

_Sam's New Girlfriend_

"Everyone calm down. How about we all take a seat and have a beer." Replied Michael. He was having trouble taking in everything he had just heard and realized that if he was having trouble so was everyone else. They all sat around the kitchen bench and the nameless boy helped himself to a beer as well. Michael couldn't be bothered adding this to the mess before him so he let it go. Michael pointed at Jesse "You keep away from the girl." He pointed at Sam "you for now keep away from the girl." He pointed at Fee "you stop trying to take hair samples." He pointed at the boy "You. Who the hell are you and last but not least" he pointed at Claire "You, Explain!"

Claire gave Michael a typical "I hate you right now Michael" look commonly found on Fee's face. She took a deep breath and addressed the group, "the boy is my son, I call him Brishen but his names Simon. I've been looking for Fee since I airquotes _died_. I got fed up and just googled average weekly bombings. Let's just say Miami was a little above average. I need your help fee, when Simons dad died he left behind A LOT of angry enemies."

_Claire_

_The Client_

"What was Simons dads name?"

"Simon, you might know him he did all that spy crap like you."


End file.
